John Edwards, defense lawyer extraordinaire and fertile male, on his indictment for violating federal campaign finance laws (laws which, honestly, I didn't believe existed anymore after Citizens United; has John Roberts heard about this?):
There is no question that I have done wrong...And I take full responsibility for having done wrong. And I will regret for the rest of my life the pain and the harm that I have caused to others. But I did not break the law.
(source.) That's his defense: All the bad stuff I did -- taking envelopes of cash from a campaign supporter who offered to also pay for his $400 haircuts among them -- wasn't illegal, it was just wrong.
Can you say "Edwards 2012?" This is the land of redemption, after all, and if Sarah Palin can incite people to shoot a congresswoman in the head and still, somehow, be treated as a person we should listen to, why not Edwards?
Here's another reason why Edwards may just walk out of jail and into the White House: Free speech. Or, as Stephen Colbert put it the other day in an open message to the FEC (the former head of which said he wouldn't have indicted Edwards):
An additional plus if Edwards runs: Jennifer Aniston might just be the first lady, judging by the message she seemed to be sending from her Allure photo shoot:
I thought attempted bribery was officially free speech now.