... if we treated the sick and the poor with the same (monetary) respect we give to quitters.
Urban Meyer has quit his job... twice. Once, he said, was for health reasons. The second, he said, was to be a "better husband and father."
Having achieved, apparently, all of his off-the-field goals -- Urban Meyer is now incapable of dying and also the greatest husband/father in the multiverse, one must assume, making him a Demigod -- the two-time quitter has now been recognized for the Greatness that he is in the only way that really matters in our society: by being handed a buttload of money.
"The" Ohio State University is a public university that gets public money, even though it has an endowment, or permanent fund of money, valued at $2,000,000,000, an important figure to note because an endowment is money donated voluntarily to a university, and the proceeds of investing that money, which means that over time, people have voluntarily given $2,000,000,000 to "The" Ohio State University. I wonder many of those people feel taxes are too high?)*
*According to Wikipedia, and I'm sorry for using that as a source, in 1995, OSU began a 5-year fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $850,000,000. The campaign was wildly successful, raising $1,230,000,000 in voluntary donations. People gave 50% more than OSU asked for.
"The" Ohio State University, with its $2,000,000,000 trust fund just sloshing around, sits in fact in one of the states that used cries of phony "fiscal crises" to cut funding for vulnerable people in necessary programs: Ohio this year cut funding for public health, all levels of education, government workers, and aid to the elderly and disabled.
Ohio also -- and this is important to note, now that the Number One Husband/Father In The Multiverse, the Demigod Urban Meyer, is coaching at their premier university -- cut child care funding.
Maybe The Demigod Urban Meyer will babysit those Ohio kids whose public schools are now struggling for funding?
Anyway, leaving aside all the things Ohio-ans find unimportant, like childcare, health care, mental health care, the elderly, K-12 education, higher education, and local municipalities' ability to balance their budgets, the BIG EXCITING NEWS is that in the midst of this fiscal crisis, Ohio State University was able -- using money contributed by taxpayers voluntarily or involuntarily-- to dig deep and find a meager amount of money to pay the Demigod Urban Meyers with.
I hope he'll be able to make ends meet. According to CBS Sports, The Demigod Urban Meyers, Ultimate Father/Husband, will have to make do with such minimal compensation as $4,000,000 per year (he can earn more if he actually stays on the job, but as a Demigod, we cannot know when Urban Meyers might be called to other, higher pursuits.)
Only $700,000 of that is "base" compensation, money The Demigod Urban Meyers gets paid for existing. Beyond existing, The Demigod Urban Meyers will also be asked to make public appearances and promote
If The Demigod gets 80% or more of his players to graduate, then he gets an additional $150,000 bonus, which is comparable to the $450,000 he'll get as a bonus just for not quitting before the end of January, 2014. "The" Ohio State University finds "keeping The Demigod on staff" to be three times as important as graduating its players. Student-athletes!
The Demigod Urban Meyers also gets $1,200 per month as a "stipend" towards his car payments. I'd think with $700,000 paid just for existing he could handle his car payments himself, but what do I know about matters on Mount Olympus, where The Demigod now exists?
Much has been made of how the Demigod gets a free golf membership, but did anyone note that The Demigod must pay his own personal expenses on that golf course? "The" Ohio State University does not handle tipping the caddy, people.
Also, consider this sacrifice, verbatim from the contract:
8. Ohio State shall fly Coach by private (not commercial) aircraft when Coach is making recruiting visits and other mutually-agreed upon University business. When such recruiting visits or University business are more than 200 miles from the City of Columbus, Ohio State shall fly Coach by private (not commercial) jet aircraft. Ohio State agrees to let coach use such jet aircraft for his personal use for thirty-five (35) hours [in-air and dead time inclusive] each year during the term of this agreement. Coach's use of such private aircraft for recruiting and other mutually-agreed upon University business shall not exceed fifty (50) hours [in-air and dead time inclusive] during each contract year.
I'm sure you caught it, too: Yes, The Demigod gets a private jet for his own private use... but only for 35 hours a year. That's barely three hours a month. Practically everybody gets about three hours a month on a private jet, right?
*sound of crickets chirping.*
Moving on. Did you know that Ohio reduced "College Opportunity" by about 20% last year? It's true. And their jerk-off "governor," John Kasich -- a poor man's Scott Walker, and that's saying something -- proposes to cut nearly half -- $35,000,000 -- in the next year. Meanwhile, 14 states saw higher full-time college enrollment increases than Ohio in the past year, and 20 states saw higher 5-year increases in full-time college enrollment.
So while it's getting easier for The Demigod Urban Meyer to get to college in Ohio -- he can take the jet -- it's getting a lot harder to find students able to attend those colleges.