First up, Ciara Matthews:
Ciara recently made headlines for having been a former Hooters girl (as pictured above). Ciara was recently profiled in The Capital Times (including the requisite crazy-eyed Republican photo: why is it that the farther out there a Republican is, the more weirding-out their eyes are? Exhibit A: Rick Scott of Florida:
So Ciara was a Hooters girl but that didn't stop her from posing provocatively in her short shorts or becoming the campaign spokeswoman for Wisconsin Governor Scott ("Patsy") Walker's Avoid Recall campaign, a campaign Walker appears to be waging in Illinois, New York and other states; does he know he's the governor of Wisconsin?
Ciara presumably knows lots of fun facts like that -- she's the campaign spokesperson, after all, and one of her first tasks was trying to explain to the press why it wasn't a big story that she used to sell PG-13 rated sexy dreams and wings (wings, by the way, are a way of selling you garbage at a profit).
In true GOP fashion, Ciara dismissed the claim she used to be a Hooters waitress as "tabloid rumors," because the truth becomes a tabloid rumor when you are a GOP operative, and vice versa.
For the record, I'm in favor of Hooters -- not because of the wings (I don't eat garbage) and not because I even go there. I just support people's right to look at sexy women if they choose, unlike the GOP, but the Republicans may be changing, as they've got another Hooters girl holding office:
That's Julia Hurley, a Republican in the Tennessee House of Representatives, and I bet she had no trouble getting volunteers. (Get it? Because Tennessee is the volunteer state... never mind.) Julia credits Hooters with giving her the drive to succeed, I assume because those shorts don't look all that comfortable and she probably wanted to get into a job where she could just let herself go, you know what I mean?
Julia in fact said her Hooters' background helped her with campaign fundraising as former customers made contributions without even questioning her experience. So did she talk politics as a waitress and they just knew she'd be pro-business? Or were they contributing on some other basis? That certainly speaks highly of the selection criteria Tennessee voters apply. There's no word in that story on whether Julia issued campaign receipts with a little smiley-heart on them.
So Hooters-waitressing is clearly the inside track to the Republican Inner Circle (but not in the way you'd guessed). What level of hotness will get you disqualified from the GOP's ranks?
That is Alison Melder, and she was not just a girl who exchanged over 200 text messages (innocently, say her lawyers) with fired Arkansas coach (and horrible driver) Bobby Petrino; she was also a former "Miss Motorcycle Mania" winner and, briefly, was on the Arkansas Young Republicans website until all this texting and being Motorcycle Maniacs made big news because of Petrino's accident; Deadspin reported the site "scrubbed" her once it began investigating.
For those who are really interested in conservative politics, Ms. Melder is a Senate assistant in Arkansas, worked on a Republican gubernatorial campaign, and can be seen at a dance party here: